evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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