I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
