She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
