so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize