If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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