let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
