my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
