Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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