Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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