can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
