Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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