I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My breasts were aching with rage.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
