just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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