The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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