windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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