yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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