she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
