Dual....:-)
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize