we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
