The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Randomize
