It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
