just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
