Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
