I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
