I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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