I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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