Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
