i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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