I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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