Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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