We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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