Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
