They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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