it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize