I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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