Betty ford says i'm here all night
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize
