This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
