Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
