i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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