I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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