Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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