i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
