community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
