Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
