it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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