today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
