guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
