Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My dick has a subreddit
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
