Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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