Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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