Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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