You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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