honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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