I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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