and she was petting her beer can
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
