I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
