Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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