i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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