Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
ttyl tear gas
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
