its not stalking. its research.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
