so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
