he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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