So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
