i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
