ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
