when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
